We all know, of course, that Katrina was a god’s wrath against the US for not being part of the Caliphate of bin Laden. So I wonder what Al Qaeda thinks a god’s position is on the earthquake that struck the last known hiding places of Osama and killed many, many more than were killed by Katrina?

Us crazy nonreligious types would say that maybe sad things happen and it isn’t the fault of capricious bearded men in the sky, but clearly it’s the worldwide Zionist conspiracy that makes us say that. My sympathy to the victims, who I don’t think are being punished for any wrongdoing other than being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Nah, not the prestigious prizes in Switzerland, but the scientific equivalent of the Razzies, the Ig Nobels at Hahvahd. Here’s the list of 2005 winners, if “winner” is the appropriate term.

Some of them are just the sort of fluffy things one expects in rich societies, such as replacement dog testacles so Poochie doesn’t feel so bad about his trip to the vet. Others puzzle me–just how crowded is the avian biology field that you need to work out the physics of penguin poop in order to get a novel research topic?

Now, if only religion would join movies and science in ridiculing the stupid among you, we might get a “message from god” prize for idiots who start wars based on voices in their heads or morons who simultaneously accept that science is more valid than religion while attempting to deny scientific conclusions that don’t fit your creation myths.

So you think you could slide by and I wouldn’t notice? I do read the news, you know.

Seriously, what do any of you people have better to do than see Serenity? Sex, sure, but a) many of you aren’t doing that anyway for lack of partner or fear of what will happen to you after death from a vengeful god–and remember, you have my postmortem vengeance to worry about, and b) it’s not like you can’t go see Serenity and get yer freak on afterwards.

Let’s face it, there were two hours in your weekend that were spent in drudgery or boredom that could have been alleviated by Serenity.

So remember, it’s not like you have anything better to do, and I’ll kill you if you don’t. So there.

Could Microsoft be in trouble?

On the surface, it seems silly, and I remind myself uncomfortably of the people who were predicting Apple’s demise when they had $4 billion in cash reserves. Microsoft has many times that amount in cash, and they could operate for a couple of years with zero revenue. But note that I’m not saying Microsoft is about to fold; I’m just saying they’re starting to act like a, ahem, “beleaguered” company.

Windows Vista, their new operating system, is starting to look more like a failure than a successful upgrade. Various reviewers compare their promised features to Apple’s current operating system, 10.4–but the Big Deal, improved search a la Apple’s spotlight, isn’t even estimated to ship until 2007. Apple will likely be two operating systems further down the line by then. Google may take two features out of beta in that time period.

That coupled with the massive reorganization announced recently makes Microsoft look like a troubled company. The years of spending more time utilizing and protecting their various monopolies rather than even stealing good innovations (I can only think of one or two innovations that came from within Microsoft, and weren’t simply purchased from outside) has caught up with them. The lax attitude toward performance and security has caught up to them. They’re actually slipping in market share.

But none of it brought the point home to me as much as a product my friend Jason pointed me to: Microsoft Codename Max. This software, quite frankly, is a copy of Apple’s iPhoto–except it’s not a copy of the current version. Its feature set resembles iPhoto 1.0, which Apple released three and a half years ago. The current version of iPhoto is iPhoto 5. Even one of their icons is a direct ripoff of an Apple icon:

Usually Microsoft has at least one feature that doesn’t exist on another platform, even if it’s poorly implemented, so their apologists can claim it’s “better” than all the competition. From the feature descriptions, there is no such thing with Microsoft Max.

When even your copies are years late to the market, something is deeply and fundamentally wrong. Maybe Microsoft’s reorg will help, though I honestly think that the best thing that could happen to the company would be spinning off these divisions into separate companies. Once they stop wasting effort trying to reinforce and extend the monopoly, and put the effort back into competing, you could actually realize some of the potential that seems to be wasted. They supposedly hire the best and the brightest. But if Microsoft Max is all they can produce, they’re going to need that cash reserve.

Peep dis, yo. That’s right: an Atari 2600…not the crappy inside-a-controller version, but an officially licensed miniature version of the console with buttons instead of those stupid switches and original game controllers…for $30 US. Available at Wal*Mart (who pays better than the unions protesting it) and Best Buy, among others, in October.

It even comes with Yars’ Revenge and Yars’ Return. I played one of the Yar games for many, many hours. The thing even comes with Battlezone, which is arguably the first 3D first-person shooter (though the first version of Battlezone was a black-and-white arcade game…actually green-and-black if memory serves). Follow the links and check out the online manual with original-style package graphics and some super-cool screenshots. Behold, kiddies, this is what we had to make do with for game-playing experience 25 years ago. Bet your pixellated sex acts don’t look so crappy now, huh?

OK, so modern progressive rock has its own iTunes Essentials listing. Great, except there’s nothing by Spock’s Beard or echolyn, both of which are on the iTunes Music Store. Really, it’s more of a Neoprog collection, which isn’t the same thing (in my opinion, it’s pretty boring stuff).

I was happy to see that Farpoint was represented. They are not typical prog, either, but having grown up in the same area of South Carolina, I can say that producing anything unconventional is an act of courage and perseverance in that environment. Trivia: the drummer I mean, uh, lead singer–sorry Clark–was Jesus in a local production of Jesus Christ, Superstar I once played for.

All that being said, the classic progressive rock iTunes Essentials listing is quite good, including even a couple of tracks I haven’t heard before. I question having “Nothing at All” by Gentle Giant as really essential when compared to some of the rest of their output (something off In a Glass House, perhaps?), but the collection was obviously put together by somebody who knew what they were doing.

This post on To the People sums up my reaction to Katrina, so I’ll just point you to it. If you haven’t seen the video, well, follow the link, see it, and then go make a donation.

Jason Lefkowitz covers the possibility that New Orleans as we remember it may not exist tomorrow. Who’s sounding such alarmist talk? Our normally weasel-worded government, that’s who. Read the alert.

(Link via Sploid)

A few choice quotes:

MOST OF THE AREA WILL BE UNINHABITABLE FOR WEEKS…PERHAPS LONGER. AT
LEAST ONE HALF OF WELL CONSTRUCTED HOMES WILL HAVE ROOF AND WALL
FAILURE. ALL GABLED ROOFS WILL FAIL…LEAVING THOSE HOMES SEVERELY
DAMAGED OR DESTROYED.

[…]

THE BLOWN DEBRIS WILL CREATE
ADDITIONAL DESTRUCTION. PERSONS…PETS…AND LIVESTOCK EXPOSED TO THE
WINDS WILL FACE CERTAIN DEATH IF STRUCK.

[…]

WATER SHORTAGES WILL MAKE HUMAN SUFFERING
INCREDIBLE BY MODERN STANDARDS.

THE VAST MAJORITY OF NATIVE TREES WILL BE SNAPPED OR UPROOTED. ONLY
THE HEARTIEST WILL REMAIN STANDING…BUT BE TOTALLY DEFOLIATED. FEW
CROPS WILL REMAIN. LIVESTOCK LEFT EXPOSED TO THE WINDS WILL BE
KILLED.

Usually the government saves these sorts of lurid descriptions for overstatements of the latest drug scourge. Here’s hoping this is hyperbole–but having been through hurricane Hugo, I’m afraid there will be areas of the coast for whom this is understatement.

Prepare to give a few bucks to the Red Cross or other relief agency–there will likely be people needing it.

Very fruity and smooth, but not to the point of resembling a lambic. Like some other French beers I’ve tried. Almost no bitterness, unlike lots of Belgian ales. I’ll have to try a few more French beers.

Over There, from Steven Bochco, the creator of Hill St. Blues and NYPD Blue, treads a pretty unenviable line. It has, first and foremost, to be entertaining. Then, it has to tread some very dangerous political ground: get it too gung-ho and Michael Moore will be all over them like a bag of McDonald’s fries; too harsh and country singers will ask him why he hates America. And of course, after all of this it has to try to be accurate enough not to garner too many criticisms from the troops.

Ooops.

The funny thing is, I still find it entertaining. It may be ham-fisted at times, but the dialog is good, and it’s structured well enough that you don’t find the inevitable stuck-up-officer or lieutenant versus the sargeant, etc., etc., that disconcerting. If you’ve never been in the military, like me, the inaccuracies won’t bother you so much.

The verisimilitude comes from the confusion of fighting in an area where you don’t speak the language and there’s no opposing army. It also does a good job of showing the soldiers just trying to do their job and come home alive. It also shows the strain it puts on families left behind.

In the end, I doubt it will survive. It will be tough to tread this line too long without falling down on one side or the other. In each of the cases where civilians are killed, it turned out insurgents were behind it for their own dark purposes. Given the number of young suicide bombers in the Middle East, it’s not terribly hard to believe, but it avoids the harder question of those who are simply trying to live who are caught in the crossfire.

But until then, it’s good to remind yourself that yes, there’s a war on over there, and yes, it’s tearing apart the families of those we’ve asked to go, and yes, they’re being killed or torn apart themselves, while we worry about paying too much for gasoline…that happens to come from that part of the world.