I did something I really rarely do. I watched a movie based on mumblings and automatic recommendations with no prior knowledge of it, and then watched it through again with the commentary track. Partially, that’s because Kevin Smith did it with Richard Kelly.

I’m not going to review or describe the movie–it is not for everybody. Most people I know who should see it will already have seen it, because I’m always suspicious of cult stuff or critic-approved movies (I find Woody Allen completely overrated–amusing like The New Yorker, not hilarious and deep like Brazil). So when people tell me I’ve got to see something, I tend to resist.

Fortunately after the hype dies down I’ll give something a chance when it looks like it’s going to last, and I’m always happy to admit when I’ve been wrong. Firefly was one; Donnie Darko is another. So if you tend to like the films I like, get this and see it. Particularly if you liked Brazil, you’ll like this.

So it’s not for Ginger, with whom I was discussing Brazil today.

Update: I forgot to mention–I focused in on the “Eye” imagery in the director’s cut, and the computer code that goes by is a stack trace from either a Mac OS X box or a NeXT box–lots of references to the Mach microkernel. Sorry, Linus.

Somehow, as often happens with my friend Todd, we got on a search for something cheesy and random. In this case, we got stuck perusing the entertaining TV Cream site’s theme song collection. Sadly, not all of them are the original recordings, but some are or are close enough for government work.

One bit of cheese that was too much dairy even for Todd was the Wonder Woman theme. I was never a fan of comic books in general, nor Wonder Woman in particular, but I did watch a bunch of episodes of hte Linda Carter series on weekday afternoons in elementary and middle school (you would not believe how little there was on TV in those days, particularly living in Taliban-wannabe South Carolina–we actually thought Diff’rent Strokes was entertaining, and not in a retro-camp kind of way). Being the only really breakout comic featuring a female superhero, it has an iconic status far beyond its sales, deeply intertwined with the modern feminist movement–none of which I was aware of until much later. However, that piano bass line is one of the underrated masterpieces of the TV genre, right up there with Barney Miller, and always gets me rockin’. Unfortunately the rest of the song doesn’t hold up to it, but that just served as a vehicle for me to remark that Joss Whedon, who Todd knew from my relentless flacking of Serenity, was hired to write and direct a Wonder Woman movie.

This of course led to a hunt for who was going to play Wonder Woman (nothing decided yet, sorry fellas hoping for hot actress shots) and seeing a bunch of interviews with Joss about it. In it he mentioned something I’d wondered about: he was definitely going to work in the bracelets, an updated version of the tights (well, duh), the golden lasso that makes people tell the truth, above-normal strength (no flying, possibly jumping), and the invisible plane if he could work it in. He mentioned that a key element would be that it’s an origins story, and it would treat Wonder Woman as a young woman or late teen new to our world, and coming to grips with its less savory aspects.

Of course, he gave no specifics and at this stage of the writing there may not be (m)any. But it set me to wondering tonight, as my brain did a weird turn as it is wont to do: how could you piece a story together that has a woman acquire or already have super-strength, get bracelets, the lariat, and maybe a jet–and want to cover herself in something at least somewhat patriotic (to the USA or some star-spangled red-white-and-blue country–sorry, Canadians).

So here’s my guess, based on pure speculation and almost no familiarity or great caring about the original material:

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On the inimitable Sploid, a meditation on gay penguin love, and the zookeeper Eichmans who want to enforce society’s prejudices for “babies” upon them.

Supposedly, the ban on the depiction of Mohammed (the prophet, not the oil baron or the gas station attendant or the goat-herder) was put in place to prevent Mohammed being a figure of worship to take away from the god of Islam. They didn’t want a repeat of the status of saints or the Virgin Mary in Catholicism.

But the universal uprising (four months late) over the cartoons published by a few newspapers run by non-muslims in the West suggests to me that this strategy has backfired. By giving Mohammed a special place in non-depiction, Islam has turned him into an invisible idol, idolized by his absence. Remember, they’re supposed to be focusing on submission to the will of their god, not on his prophet.

Of course the fact that muslims refer to him as the Prophet and always put Peace Be Upon Him after his name and are required to name him as a prophet of their god suggests that it’s not just in non-representation that Mohammed has been idolized in practice if not in theology.

Islam is hardly unique in such conceits, but it would be a good thing for thoughtful muslims to remember as they charge the gates in the name of non-idolatry…that’s pretty much the definition of idolatry you’re displaying, there.

Looks like another attempt to eat your way to health has died. Low fat diets, in a long term, extremely large study, do nothing to affect your rates of cancer or heart disease.

The $415 million federal study involved nearly 49,000 women ages 50 to 79 who were followed for eight years. In the end, those assigned to a low-fat diet had the same rates of breast cancer, colon cancer, heart attacks and strokes as those who ate whatever they pleased, researchers are reporting today.

Even if they weren’t low fat enough, or didn’t cut out enough of the right fats, there should have been some measurable benefit for that many people over eight years. Instead, we’re left with body shape, smoking, activity level, and family history being the most important factors. Three of those you can control, but I’ve read the fourth matters as much or more.

One thing this means is that people who want to grab a study involving four or five subjects and mandate whatever the latest health fad is for everyone–for the children–need to enjoy a warm, tall glass of shut the fuck up. Yeah, if you dramatically reduce the variety of food you eat, eat more than you need, and stop exercising a la Morgan Spurlock, you will be worse off. But what if a later study says that certain fats excised from school diets turns out to be necessary for proper development in children?

We’re all going to die. We’re all going to die in different ways. Sure, don’t do anything stupid, but don’t live your life as if the next news report is going to save your life–it won’t. Being born is terminal.

I’m gonna have a cookie and do something nice for somebody tomorrow.

I’ll just brush my teeth afterwards.

Hey, remember the “don’t be stupid” bit?

So looks like the Dutch are gonna backstop the Danes on the whole Mohammed Cartoon controversy. They have a site that does the equivalent of Something Awful’s Photoshop Phriday, in which various people have satirical fun with found images, usually centered around a theme.

The site Retecool has this week’s Foto Fuck Vrijdag and imagines an alternate universe in which Mohammed is on every ad there is. It’s so not safe for work or anybody with a thin skin.

Hat tip: Nobody’s Business