Surely this will catapult me into the ranks of big time bloggers like that guy from flyover country, the gay Republican, or some political hack. My more commented-upon Canadian-themed post got quite a lot of hate comments from Canadians who failed to read the substance of the post (or, as I judge from the quality of the spelling and punctuation, may simply have been unable to read it). It then also drew quite a lot of counter-hate hate comments from Americans. Ever one to enjoy watching Canadians act in opposition to their self image, I just sat back and watched.
But when a couple of 14-year-olds (or their mental equivalents) began bashing one another the thing got tiresome. As long as they were bashing one another based on their country of residence, I didn’t much care. Then the (self-identified) American began simply just posting potty mouth words without a lot of point to them. Now I’m quite a fan of potty mouth words (fuck, shit, Jerry Seinfeld, crap, children, dickweed, and Canada, just to name a few)–I just require that they be in the service of something. So I just deleted those posts but left up the juvenile name-calling. That caused outrage, so I banned the commenter’s IP address. He came back and resumed the name-calling, and all was well.
Then the (again, self-described) Canuck failed to recognize that a spammer bent on selling him magic beans for his beanie-weenie had simply used a bot to post some innocuous bit of nonsense, and replied to it. I of course deleted the spam, causing much anguish on the Canuck’s part. I replied that as this is my private propertah, all will respect my authoritah, and I’ll delete whatever the fuck I want for whatever reason I want, or no reason at all. Generally I’m pretty liberal about what I’ll let pass, but sometimes I’m just feelin’ the need for delete.
This caused the American to launch into a paroxysm of abuse. So, of course I deleted it, since it had nothing to do with hating (or not hating) Canada. He returned, full of accusations of treason, etc., etc., and I deleted those. Eventually I got tired of the thing and just turned the comments off that post, since most of them even before the juveniles got involved had been fairly stupid anyway. Canadians seem to have a lot of time on their hands and get a wee bit defensive about being a real country (funny how real countries never feel the need to get defensive about their existence). This caused quite a pause, since neither of them seemed to know that a “blog” has “posts” of which their favorite was simply one among many.
So today, while I spent the day out in the warm sun enjoying nature’s plenitude, the American troll was in his dank cave manually spamming as many posts as he could (geez, write a bot like every other script kiddie). I returned to find them, and promptly deleted them. The Canadian troll managed to bang out a couple of insults between bouts of shivering, but as autocratic and random as I am, I elected to let them stay. I’m just kooky that way.
No doubt my American hater will come back with all sorts of things as soon as the public library opens again and he manages to rediscover how to work the automatic door. They’ll probably be deleted and that IP address banned. Since I have very low readership, I don’t mind banning most of SBC’s IP space. They’re pretty lame, anyway.
But I’m so glad I have a hater. Clearly, I’m coming up in the world.
Sandy Smith 
hell you`re not coming up in the world,i just like amusing myself with rubber heads,your it!
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……….and thanks for letting stay old chap,kisses.
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Sandy, please don’t give yourself that much credit to think that your coming up in the world. You can try to dress yourself up all you want but in the morning you still wake up an asshole.
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well sandy old top,if`n you`re going to chuck shit,expect to get a little on yourself old boy.you post a stupid and ill informed blog about canada and when someone calls you on it,its old retoric about canada that usually is the party line in the usa.i don`t hate the u.s. but i do understand why most of the world does and the likes of you certainly do not help.
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damn sandy i owe you an h in rhetoric,typo pls forgive.
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“paroxysm”! you just had to pick that word didn`t ya sandy.of all the words in the english language that turns my head….it`s that one! you bastard!
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“post a stupid and ill informed blog about canada”
When did I do that? Do you Canucks even learn reading comprehension? Please go back to that original post (a blog is a collection of posts, of which this is one) and reread the entry before the comments.
I think you’ll find it erudite, insightful, and not a little tingly-making.
But seriously, you put one thing about hating Canada in there and the enlightened neighbors to the north suddenly lose the power of literacy.
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i read it ,your condescending attitude left no doubt in my mind.suggest you reread,erudite my ass.
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the power of literacy is an `murkin short coming,( bush) but to your credit `murkin engineering skills are second to none when it comes to building ivory towers.
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Sandy how can I exchange with Canadians if you won’t let me post on the blog?
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Oh i see you will answer Turtle but ignorme a fellow American? Ok I guess I should call you Benedict Arnold
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ignore me even
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Benedict Arnold? wtf has breakfast got to do with this????????????
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i’m not talking to you Canuck so shut that hole in your face
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ah,murkin literacy at it`s finest.
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Thank you I learned it from Sandy. He’s my hero
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why do you crew have this need for heroes?
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Everyone has to have someone that they look up to kind of like a role model.
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We must keep the conversation lively but not to lively or were bound to get deleted
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pte lynch? pls explain.
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buyamerican, if you abuse the posting privilege, you’ll find yourself banned and deleted again. If you don’t like it, resourceful Americans should be able to figure out how to get their own blogs. Then you can play Canadian Content Inspector all you want, too.
Turtle, I’m glad you’ve clarified that agreeing with Canada’s position on anything is pretty much evidence of ignorance. But that pretty much validates my condescension–either that or you can’t recognize a joke, eh?
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She was not a hero she did nothing but get herself caught big fuckin deal
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I never thought she was a hero
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Well finally how do you do Sandy, I don’t want my own blog I like this one and please don’t give me warnings its just my instinct to push back. I am hardly abusive thank you
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Canadian Content Inspector
Thanks for the title by the way
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no problem recognizing a joke which is why i`m…..here.as far as agreeing with canadas position on everything,i do not,nor will i ever but can condescension be validated? truly an élitist attitude.the intellectually superior such as you see yourselves usually sit out the rough stuff and go merrily on your way in blissful ignorance and tell the rest of the world where we fucked up but offer no solutions.analyse and disappear.
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I don’t think that’s our problem canuck I think it’s yours alot of you seem to have an deep insecurity when it comes to American’s. Why worry so much how we are be all you can be and forget about it.
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You know it would be nice Sandy if you could correct your blog and change your he’s to shes you can keep the 14 year old mentality. I do rather like be called young
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Dammit what I meant to say was I rather like being called young
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common thread with `murkins,the canadian insecurities which is absolute bullshit.kep the myth alive.
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ok,fuck my eye i owe somebody an e
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Well really how many Americans do you see walking around worrying about what others think about them emm? Can Canadians say the same? Hell practically every one I mean has to give me a fuckin play by play of all Canada’s acommplisments and I didn’t even ask. I can simply just say hello
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Fuck im typing to fast. I meant to say meet
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canadians counteracting `murkin bullshit movies i would think.
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You Canucks put too much faith in Hollywood. We are smart enough to know that you don’t believe everything that comes out of there. It’s hyped up
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Sandy do I get a badge and hat as Canadian inspector?
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wait! you mean hollywood may be not all true? my god,nooooooooooo!!!!!!!
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Oh one more question Sandy about that Canadian Content Inspector. Do I get to frisk them?
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I know..I know hard for you to absorb Canuck but it is true and those people who play in those pictures are called actors and actresses
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See Sandy I can play nicely in the sandbox with others. Yes im sure the depth of our conversation is not up to your much higher standards but it satisfies just the same. Now I expect a gold star for my good behavior.
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Where did you go Canuck? Run out of things to whine aboot?
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Sandy now that the Canuck appears to have left I feel we need to discuss the above post you made for this blog.
Specifically this paragraph “American troll was in his dank cave manually spamming as many posts as he could (geez, write a bot like every other script kiddie)”
Care to explain how you can call me abusive and type such utter nonsense?
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that was from me
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Ignored again, I c..too intellecutally childish for you Sandy? Won’t discuss it?
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Well Sandy i’ve given you some time to think. Care to discuss your post now?
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Ok one you either refuse to discuss because you feel it would be a waste of time for you or you are afraid to talk to me because I am a woman? Which is it.
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Oh, I’ve seen this kinda thing before. Whatcha got here is a case of bezoars. I think they’re caused by bad eggs.
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Oh this is funny, I didn’t read them all, but 47 comments! I want some funny trolls like that.
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Why ginger I’ve seen your picture. I don’t think you are short on trolls seems you have already cornered the market on that.
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Oh Dave your so witty NOT!!! Don’t quit your day job any time soon.
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