Surely this will catapult me into the ranks of big time bloggers like that guy from flyover country, the gay Republican, or some political hack. My more commented-upon Canadian-themed post got quite a lot of hate comments from Canadians who failed to read the substance of the post (or, as I judge from the quality of the spelling and punctuation, may simply have been unable to read it). It then also drew quite a lot of counter-hate hate comments from Americans. Ever one to enjoy watching Canadians act in opposition to their self image, I just sat back and watched.
But when a couple of 14-year-olds (or their mental equivalents) began bashing one another the thing got tiresome. As long as they were bashing one another based on their country of residence, I didn’t much care. Then the (self-identified) American began simply just posting potty mouth words without a lot of point to them. Now I’m quite a fan of potty mouth words (fuck, shit, Jerry Seinfeld, crap, children, dickweed, and Canada, just to name a few)–I just require that they be in the service of something. So I just deleted those posts but left up the juvenile name-calling. That caused outrage, so I banned the commenter’s IP address. He came back and resumed the name-calling, and all was well.
Then the (again, self-described) Canuck failed to recognize that a spammer bent on selling him magic beans for his beanie-weenie had simply used a bot to post some innocuous bit of nonsense, and replied to it. I of course deleted the spam, causing much anguish on the Canuck’s part. I replied that as this is my private propertah, all will respect my authoritah, and I’ll delete whatever the fuck I want for whatever reason I want, or no reason at all. Generally I’m pretty liberal about what I’ll let pass, but sometimes I’m just feelin’ the need for delete.
This caused the American to launch into a paroxysm of abuse. So, of course I deleted it, since it had nothing to do with hating (or not hating) Canada. He returned, full of accusations of treason, etc., etc., and I deleted those. Eventually I got tired of the thing and just turned the comments off that post, since most of them even before the juveniles got involved had been fairly stupid anyway. Canadians seem to have a lot of time on their hands and get a wee bit defensive about being a real country (funny how real countries never feel the need to get defensive about their existence). This caused quite a pause, since neither of them seemed to know that a “blog” has “posts” of which their favorite was simply one among many.
So today, while I spent the day out in the warm sun enjoying nature’s plenitude, the American troll was in his dank cave manually spamming as many posts as he could (geez, write a bot like every other script kiddie). I returned to find them, and promptly deleted them. The Canadian troll managed to bang out a couple of insults between bouts of shivering, but as autocratic and random as I am, I elected to let them stay. I’m just kooky that way.
No doubt my American hater will come back with all sorts of things as soon as the public library opens again and he manages to rediscover how to work the automatic door. They’ll probably be deleted and that IP address banned. Since I have very low readership, I don’t mind banning most of SBC’s IP space. They’re pretty lame, anyway.
But I’m so glad I have a hater. Clearly, I’m coming up in the world.