Name your kid something resembling the name of a person on the government’s database, and they’ll deny him a flight on suspicion of infantile terrorism, or something.

Sarah Zapolsky and her husband had a similar experience last month while departing from Dulles International Airport outside Washington. An airline ticket agent told them their 11-month-old son was on the government list.

Good. I hate parents who bring kids on a plane ride instead of asking MuMu and TeTaw to get their asses into the Caddie so they can go gaga over the little piglet that looks just like every other carpet creep of the same general skin tone.