My only shot at ethnic coolness (and it is a long, long shot) is my Scottish ancestry (MacKinnon and McIlhatten), which is possibly swamped by my boring, roast-beef-eating, white-bread making, vegetable-boiling English ancestry. Nonetheless, it’s as close to a minority as I’ll ever get, so in today’s group-identity-based culture, I’m clinging to it like, well, a Scotsman clings to a penny.
That’s the stereotype in England, so I hear, that Scots make Jews look like spendthrifts–because we would never allow our religion to deny us free ham. (Note the “we”? Cute, how I slipped in my more-or-less created identity in there). Whether genetically determined or not, my family, we know how to save-a da money.
So it gave me a deep-ethnic-roots thrill a week ago when I had more than $10 in savings on a $28 grocery bill (net owed, $18–sweet!). But this week, I managed to have:
Total before savings: $32.40
Your Total Savings: $14.77
Total After Savings: $17.63
All bonus card buys except for one item, which I had a coupon for. And one of the bonus items? I had a coupon for that, too, biatch! (OK, I’m fairly sure my ancestors never said “biatch”. Some of my still-living, extremely distant relatives may, however–and say it with a funny accent t’boot.)
Two things to note, however:
- A real penny-pinching Scot would never spend as much as I do on dining out and Internet access, to name a couple of luxuries, so please don’t imagine I live on milk crates or take dates to places for which I have coupons if you don’t yet well know me.
- My skeptical side reminds me that I’m overpaying for those goods the rest of the time, so really I’m just not losing as much as I normally would on the transaction. If I actually consistently switched to the lowest-price version of each item and bought in bulk, I could save far more regularly. Nonetheless, I have a small apartment and like what I like, so slap! I’m Scottish, biatch!