I Will Not Share the Road

I will not share the road with bicyclists until I see at least one per month actually attempt to share the road with me. This means I want to see them stop for stop signs and red lights, and actually signal what they’re about to do. It’s not hard. Oh, and stopping for stop lights means you can’t go–not that it’s a stop sign for the annointed dorks in their unfortunately-form-hugging spandex.

I will not share the road with SUVs just because some dumb bitch (and, natch, nobody else inside) doesn’t know how to fit her earthraper into a normal lane and wants to use mine, too, even though she has plenty of room to her right. Learn to drive it or get a car you can steer and go on the diet necessary to fit your gargantuan ass into it.

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