One Way I Don’t Hate Canada

For a while I thought that Canadians had nothing in common except the fact nobody there, with the exception of a boatload of hippies, was American. I whimiscally decided that, in order to be taken seriously, a country needs someone outside the country to hate it (besides the Quebecois)–and everybody was ignoring them. So I’ve been politely loathing Canada and things Canadian as my bit to help out Canadian sovereignty. Since every Canadian I met seemed to despise my country for being so violent, blah blah blah, I thought it a cry for attention and was willing to throw you lot a bone.

However, Grant McCracken undermines my efforts when he writes:

Plainly and simply, our neighbour needed us to close ranks, show solidarity, and present a single face to the dithering world community.

Er, no. If you’re really feeling indebted for those years of protection (which would assume we were doing this purely out of the kindness of our heart instead of needing a conveniently safe place to put the DEW Line), nothing says “thank you” like cash–maybe all that money you save on prescription drugs and not having any police since everyone up there is pure as the wind-driven snow, which I gather you have much experience with.

Seriously, just because we were determined to start a war on the thinnest of evidence doesn’t mean you’re less a friend (or a bratty younger brother) if you don’t follow us in. That’s like saying if Americans all started drinking heavily and going for a dip in the ocean, it would be Canada’s job to do the same to show solidarity to the world.

If you think it was right to go to war anyway because Saddam was a bad guy and for some reason was more important than all the other bad guys out there, fine. Criticize your government on that basis. But quite frankly it’s stupid to do it just because your ally has a yen. If that were so, how much shame would you put on the US (or, for that matter, yourselves) over the Suez crisis? I don’t hear anybody rushing to say Canada needed to put in troops in a land grab because you got a system of common laws from the UK and share a monarch.

If Canada were to say “Hey, we won’t go into Afghanistan because, well, thanks for the low, low prices on all the F-18s, but hey, we don’t want to become a target for the next 9/11, eh,” that would be ingratitude. That was the place to stand up and show solidarity. But to make a judgment that evidence of a threat from Saddam is insufficient, particularly when history has proven that judgment right and the American (and, honestly, mine at the time) judgment wrong, is not something to criticize.

Now, if you make the argument that the decision was taken on this visceral anti-Americanism you describe, the reasoning might be worthy of criticism. But so far, this is one of the few things I think Canada can feel just a bit smug aboot.

And remember, I hate Canada. Politely.

178 thoughts on “One Way I Don’t Hate Canada

  1. how can people who share so much be so differnet??????

    For all our talk about a lack of Canadian identity and so on, there is a Canadian way – and no where is it more evident than among our very capable soldiers overseas. I have seen it. An example came on the mountain known as the Whale in eastern Afghanistan. It was March 2002 and Canadian soldiers had launched their first combat offensive operation in 50 years. There were supposed to be between 60 and 80 highly motivated, suicidal al-Qaida fighters waiting for the Canadians on that mountain. The fact is, by the time we got there, they weren’t there. Most had left. There was, however, a single, lonely donkey wandering around the cliffs and hillsides. It had probably humped more mortar rounds for the al-Qaida during the past month than Canadians had fired in decades. But it didn’t matter. The animal posed no threat. There were 600 Canadians on that mountain and 100 American troops. For all we knew at the time, there was an al-Qaida fighter around every corner. It was a highly charged atmosphere, yet the Canadians – as Canadians are wont to do – feared for the donkey’s safety. So they broke open some infra-red glo-sticks and smeared the stuff all over the donkey so he could be seen at all hours. Then they sent him on his way. A little while later, there was a volley of gunfire and the donkey was dead, shredded by hundreds of rounds of ammunition. The Americans had blown him away.

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  2. I think everyone should be a little more accepting, and less vocal of their dislike of other countries. You’re allowed to say you don’t like somthing specific about a place, but when you say you hate an entier country without knowledge of every aspect of that country, then you’re a pre-judging idiot. If i were american, I’d have voted for bush. I have nothing against the US in general. I don’t support the canadian beef market. (if they’re gonna feed cows cow brains, they can go to hell) And I think paul martin is one dumb PM, what with his sponcership scandal. I also dissaprove of quebec and their pro-sepratist movement. wow look! I have more dislike for my own country than the US! I still don’t hate canada though…

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  3. Yesterday was Amerikkka’s GAY BIRTHDAY. Here are some common GAY Amerikkkan myths I would like to dispel.

    Everybody hates Amerikkka. Here are some of the reasons why Canadians hate the living (s)hit out of AMerikkka (NOTE: THE HEADINGS IN BOLDED ARE NEW REASONS TO HATE AMERIKKA. IF YOU HAVE ANY CONCERNS OR NEW IDEAS, E-MAIL ME AT THE E-MAIL ADDRESS BELOW. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. AND HATE AMERIKKKA):

    1) “KANADA IS A FURD-WURLD KUNTRY!”

    If you really hate Amerikkkans, here’s the best reason to begin with. Amerikkkans just can’t stop (f)ucking talking. The second they open their mouths, crap flies. Or (s)hit. Or whatever what the hell you want to call it. When was the last time your didn’t hear AMerikkkans spewing forth their sickly egotistical bull(s)hit, “We are the best nation.” And what the hell? Canada being a third-world country? Am I missing something here? Amerikkka has a $1 trillion debt, yet you (a)ssholes have the unmitigated temerity to call Canada a third world country? Is there any logic behind your arguement AT ALL? I hope you guys have a better sense in how the economy works and use your brain for ONCE. But wait….wait a second…Amerikkans using their brains? WHAT AM I TALKING ABOUT?

    2) “KANADA ADHERES 2 DA BRITISH MONARCHY! U.S. DUSNT!”

    Not that British monrach “adhereance” (c)rap again! Here’s one word to rebut that stupid claim: INCORRECT! The last time I checked, half of the Amerikkkans don’t even know what their talking about. Aane says that Canada is “technically owned by the British”(owned?) while some other guys say that Canada is ruled by the Brits. And the ones who DO understand their own history can’t get the facts straight. “Kanada is part of BritaIN!!!” Bla bla bla. YAWWWWWWWWN. Canada DOES NOT adhere to the British monrach. In 1982, Canada P-A-T-R-I-A-T-E-D the constitution, meaning Canada is a FREE INDEPENDENT AUTONOMOUS REGION from Britain. Because many of you Amerikkan unedukated f***ers don’t know what patriate means, it means bringing back something to a particular group of people. As well, I hope you (f)uckers take a look at your Amerikkan history textbook and find out what the 13 stripes mean. Technically speaking, Amerikkka is still a part of the British monrachy. Why? The 13 stripes stands for the 13 colonies that Britain ruled. Need another example of British adherance by the U.S.? Click here!([url=http://www.theodora.com/flags/state_flags/hi.gif) Find anything WRONG with Hawaii’s flag? So much for a “republic.” Your republic can kiss my ass for all that I care, just like you AMerikkkan pigs.

    And speaking of adherance to the British monrachy, if Canada adheres to the British monrachy, then what should we make of AUSTRALIA? Why is it that NOBODY makes a sound about AUSTRALIA EVEN THOUGH THEY HAVE A UNION JACK ON THEIR FLAG? If Canada was Britain’s dog, then Australia is Britain’s slave. But then again, Amerikkkans are so retarded, slow and jacked-up that, hell, they don’t see anything but the shortcomings of Canada. So sad. Might as well call them the most appropriate term: (f)ucknuts.

    3) “WE SHUD INVADE KANADA!..KANADA HAS NO ARMY!!!!”

    Ah yes, the military clout rears its ugly head YET AGAIN! Before I begin, take a look at how many times this statement has been regurgitated!

    Our Special forces!(http://www.geocities.com/americaisbetterthancanada/canadianforces.html)

    We shud invade Kanada!!!! There’s even a whole site dedicated to it!

    (http://www.invadecanada.com.us)

    By conservative limp dick Jane Golderb “Bomb Canada!”

    A random idiot typed this!

    All you f***ing Canadian dumbass retards can burn in hell. You don’t know s*** about s***. f***ing pussies, afraid of war. You were founded by the f***ing french. After trying once, we didn’t even bother to try and get your sorryass country. It’s a piece of s***, and all you can do is glide around on frozen water. Sounds f**gish to me. (http://www.uselessjunk.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=1753)

    What the hell? Let’s see that again

    Our Special forces!(http://www.geocities.com/americaisbetterthancanada/canadianforces.html)

    We shud invade Kanada!!!! There’s even a whole site dedicated to it!

    (http://www.invadecanada.com.us)

    By conservative limp dick Jane Golderb “Bomb Canada!”

    A random idiot typed this!

    All you f***ing Canadian dumbass retards can burn in hell. You don’t know s*** about s***. f***ing pussies, afraid of war. You were founded by the f***ing french. After trying once, we didn’t even bother to try and get your sorryass country. It’s a piece of s***, and all you can do is glide around on frozen water. Sounds f**gish to me. (http://www.uselessjunk.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=1753)

    What the hell? Why the hell do you need to mention how “weak”(laugh) Canada’s army is four consecutive times? Am I missing something here? Do you Amerikkans know anything about a special term called D-I-P-L-O-M-A-C-Y? Yes DIPLOMACY. You see fools Amerikka would NEVER invade Canada. Why? Because we are “allies”. And if Amerikkka was to invade Canada, half of them would run back to their mommies in Texas, since those (f)uckfaces would freeze to death. The other half would be mauled, shot, raped and killed by-who else?- the countries around the world. So the next time you (f)uckers hope to come up here, stock up on some blankets and heaters. We wouldn’t want to see you guys freeze up into little cubicles now LMAO!

    4) “KANADA IS A BARREN LAND!”

    Errr. If Canada was a barren land, why would you want to invade us? Is it because we are(cough cough) BETTER?….I don’t get it…is this another episode of Amerikkkan education gone bad?

    5) “KANADIAN MEN ARE PANSY’S AND PUSSIES!!!!”

    Yeah you know Canadian men are such pussies and pansy’s that half the Canada sucks sites are controlled or overrun by Canadians, including this one. I guess we are such pansies that we have to stand up with – 10 degree weather while you limp dicks enjoy the sun down their in retardville(California) or redneck central(Texas). How can we be “pussies” when, hell, you (s)hits can’t even stand a temperature that dips below 0 or snow? Canadian men are pussies? If Canadian men are pussies, then I guess Amerikkkan guys are little doggies that are probably still getting groomed and lectured by Paris Hilton for their “physical toughness.” Laughing my ass OFF! ZINC.

    6) “KANADA HAS SNOW….AND IT’S GOT LOTS AND LOTS OF IT!”

    So do you. According to the weather network, Rochester gets MORE snow that Toronto, Ontario. Did you know THAT? Did you (f)uckers know that Chicago has SNOW? Did you know that NEW YORK, PENNSYLVANIA, BOSTON, WASHINGTON and MOST of the North Eastern States HAVE SNOW? Did you know snow kills wussie Amerikkans? LOL!

    7) “KANADA’S MAIN EXPORT IS MAPLE SYRUP…AND ERR…..THAT’S IT! I HATE KANADA!”

    Zzzzzzzzz.ZZzzzzzzzzzzzzz. FYI, Canadian James Gosling invented the Java Script for the computer. Without him, the computer would not work you dumb asses. Second, Canada came up with the IDEA of peacekeeping, NOT AMERIKKKA.(Too bad, eh?) Third, Canada invented a medicine that helps combat diabetes. Fourth, we invented basketball. Oh yeah-and how could I forget?-we gave you (f)aggots Pamela Anderson. Bitches. And that’s only SOME of the myriad of inventions that Canada has contributed to. What has Amerikka contributed? Crap…s***…garbage…..Dubya…WAR….Peace(“laugh. Dream on you dicks.”)….corruption….greed(and the list goes ON AND ON AND ON)

    P.S. Canada’s maple syrup would poison the eagle. Wouldn’t that be great?

    8) “KANADIAN PEOPLE ARE STOOPID!”

    WIth a nation of 68% who are fat, I guess Amerikkkans are real people who can use their brain.(laugh) What idiots,other than Amerikkkans, would argue that “Canada has nothing but ice” yet would want to “Invade us?” If the answer is “resources,” then Canada has something MORE than ice, correct? And if Canada had nothing but ice, why does it house 33 MILLION PEOPLE? Can somebody explain that?

    And so much for stupid. In a recent survey done by the National Geography magazine, a full “66% of Amerikkkan kids could NOT pinpoint the North Pacfici Ocean, China or India.” 66%? What the hell are Amerikkans teaching their students? Need another example of Amerikkkan stupidity? Watch Jay Leno’s “JAYWALKING.” it’s guarenteed to make you laugh. Laugh at Amerikkans and their stupidity. Laughing at Amerikkkans.

    SAMPLE SCRIPT FROM JAYWALKING DURING AN INTERVIEW BETWEEN LENO AND A MARRIED COUPLE.

    Leno: “What two sides fought during the American Civil War?”

    WOMAN: “North and South?”

    Leno: “Well..there’s a name for both of the sides. What are the sides called?”

    Man: “EAST AND SOUTH?”

    ANOTHER OCCASION

    Leno: “What is Mozart’s first name?”

    Woman:”uhhh……”

    Leno: “I’ll give you a hint. These wolves are in a gang….”

    Woman: “PACK?”

    Leno(laughing): “What? PACK MOZART?”

    9) “KANADA HAS NO CULTURE. IT IS OWNED BY THE US!!!!!”

    (f)uckthat. If Canada has not culture and is “owned,”by Amerikkka wouldn’t Australia be as equally OWNED? Did you asses know that Australia’s film industry was DESTROYED by you pathetic scumbags(espeically corporate Amerikkka.) And what about China? Did you (a)ssholes know that China film industry is littered with American films? Did you know that English people listen to American artists like Eminem and 50 Cent. Did you know that Russia has an MTV RUSSIA? (F)UCK DID YOU KNOW THAT CANADA HAS A (F)UCKING CULTURE? It’s funny how you dicks say that Canada has no culture, yet you satarize our national symbols, such as the Polar Bear and the beaver. Clearly, that’s what we call HYPOCRISY CORRECT? Yet again, another example of Amerikkan edukashun.

    10) “KANADIANS ARE IDIOTS BECAUSE IF THEY WERE KANADIANS, THEIR COUNTRY SHOULD BE CALLED KANADIA?!!!!”

    Sorry to burst your bubble, but that arguement doesn’t really work. If Canada should be renamed Canadia, then shouldn’t Amerikkans be called United Statans? Or Unitans? Simply put, you guys are so lazy that you guys don’t even bother using United States. Instead, you take the “short-cut” and save a few seconds by calling your maggots “Americans.” How lazy can you (a)ssholes get? yes. For all you Amerikkan idiots out there, I am making fun of you because you are lazy. I mean LOOK AT YOUR NAME. IT’S CALLED UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, not AMERICA. Besides, if Canada should be changed to Canadia, then shouldn’t France’s name be changed to Franca in order to be called Francans? Or China to Chinanans? (f)ucktarts. Get a life will you ?

    11) “KANADA’S ECONOMY IS A SHAM!”

    Ours is NOT. Yours, on the other hand, is. With a staggering debt of $1 trillion dollars, I guess Amerikkkans are still paying for the war in Iraq! And you know what the best part is, besides paying your taxes and funding the war? You guys have to pay for your HEALTH CARE!! BAHAHAHAHHAHA I would just love to see what the health care mentality in the states is. “Sir, you have to pay 20% of your income to fund the war….uh…..10% to fund the national debt…..Oh yeah and by the way, because you are injured, will you please PAY WHILE WE TAKE CARE OF YOUR INJURY FOR YOU? yes, this country is so greedy that you must pay. Now PAY YOU BITCH ! PAY PAY PAY!” By the way, Amerikkkans-yes, this is ACTUAL FACT- pay MORE income taxes than Canadians. (a)ssholes

    Well, this raps up this special edition of HATING AMERIKKKA. if you have any other concerns, please e-mail me at death_to_america@hotmail.com!

    12) “KANADA HAS A TOWN KALLED DILDO!!!”

    Below are the very interesting names in the U.S. AND YES, THESE ARE ACTUALLY PLACES IN AMERIKKKA.

    ACCIDENT, MARYLAND

    ALPHABET CITY, NEW YORK

    ARAB, ALABAMA

    ASSAWOMEN, VIRGINIA

    BAD AXE, MICHIGAN

    BAGDAD, ARIZONA

    Big Ugly Wilderness Area, West Virginia, USA

    Boring, Oregon, USA

    Brazil, Indiana, USA 9

    AND IF YOU (F)UCKERS WERE WONDERING, YES THERE IS A PLACE NAMED AFTER CANADA. IT’S CALLED CANADIAN, TEXAS(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Canadian%2C_Texas)

    13) “AMERIKKA HAS BETA PLASES DAN KANADA BECUZ WE HAFA BETUR NAMES DAN DEM. LIK TORONTO AND VANKUFA IS SO GAI!!!!!!”

    It’s interesting Amerikkkan say this. Afterall, this is from a country who’s states and cities name’ are practically comprised of the names of OTHER NATIONS. Ever heard of New York? Did you know that scummy city was named after York in England? Have you guys ever heard of New England, clearly named after England, of whom the UNITED STATES STILL TO THIS DAY STILL BOWS DOWN TO? Have you (a)sslicks ever heard of New Mexico, named after Mexico? Have you guys heard of St. Louis named after the French king of St. Louis? Have you guys hear of Louisianna, named after a French Prince? Did you guys know that their is a city called Toronto, Ohio named after Toronto? And LAST BUT NOT LEAST did you know that U.S.A. is a pretty (f)ucked up name? For you Amerikkkans out there, it stands for United States of (A)ssholes OR United Slobs of America, NOT UNITED STATES OF AMERIKKKA.

    14) “KANADA’S NASHUNAL ANFEM IS SO GAI!!!! DA USA NASHUNAL ANFEM IS SOOOOO MUCH BETTA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

    A national anthem that talks about useless bombs dropping overhead and a war-mongering nation that bases its national anthem on a stupid, worthless fight against the British isn’t even a national anthem. IN FACT, it sounds more like a commercial or a (f)ucking annoying 10 year old girl ranting about how proud she is fighting an army. Wow, so you guys fought and defended Fort McHenry(like anybody gives a flying (f)uck). Some guys died, but you still fought the British invasion. Boo Hoo, cry me a damn river. As for the Canadian national anthem,

    Now I’ve made some proposals myself about how the Amerikkkan national anthem should be sung. Here, take a look.

    Oh, say can you pee by the dawn’s early death
    What so proudly we got, a-a goddamn heart attack?
    Who brought guns and burgers through the perilous loss?
    O’er the humvees we died, were so gallantly we were beheaded.
    And the rocket’s red glare, went into our (a)nus!
    Gave proof through the night that Allah was our god.
    Oh for the land of the (b)astarrrrrrrrrds!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    And the home, of theeeeeeeeeee, (G)AY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    As a result, because your national anthem is too scummy and stupid, THIS will be your adopted and NEW NATIONAL ANTHEM.

    O Canada! Our home and native land!
    True patriot love in all thy sons command.
    With glowing hearts we see thee rise,
    The True North strong and free!
    From far and wide, O Canada,
    We stand on guard for thee.
    God keep our land glorious and free!
    O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.
    O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.
    Suck that (b)itches.

    P.S.

    Amerikkkans ought to be executed and gassed to death, just like Hitler. HAIL BIN LADEN!

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  4. 1) “Amerikkka has a $1 trillion debt, yet you (a)ssholes have the unmitigated temerity to call Canada a third world country?”

    Hey, it ain’t cheap to pay for all the guns to protect not just our country, but YOUR country too.

    2) “Bla bla bla. YAWWWWWWWWN. Canada DOES NOT adhere to the British monrach. In 1982, Canada P-A-T-R-I-A-T-E-D the constitution, meaning Canada is a FREE INDEPENDENT AUTONOMOUS REGION from Britain.”

    Actually, Canada has been independent since the Statute of Westminster in 1931. (Look it up.)

    Haha! This dumb American knows more about your own country than you do.

    3) “if Amerikkka was to invade Canada, half of them would run back to their mommies in Texas, since those (f)uckfaces would freeze to death.”

    Good thing we have Alaskans to pick up the slack.

    4) “If Canada was a barren land, why would you want to invade us?”

    Parking for the Mall of America.

    5) “Yeah you know Canadian men are such pussies and pansy’s that half the Canada sucks sites are controlled or overrun by Canadians, including this one.”

    Must not be too much to do up there, eh?

    6) “According to the weather network, Rochester gets MORE snow that Toronto, Ontario.”

    And 99% of the USA gets less snow than Rochester. USA! USA!

    7) “Fourth, we invented basketball.”

    Yeah, basketball was invented by a Canadian (James Naismith) — who had MOVED TO AMERICA before he invented it. Ooops.

    8) “[I]f Canada had nothing but ice, why does it house 33 MILLION PEOPLE? Can somebody explain that?”

    Igloos.

    9) “Did you know that English people listen to American artists like Eminem and 50 Cent.”

    I say, I’m inclined to bust a cap in your ass, old chap.

    10) “How lazy can you (a)ssholes get?”

    http://www.frattoys.com/product.asp?numRecordPosition=1&P_ID=129&OVRAW=beer%20hat&OVKEY=beer%20hat&OVMTC=standard

    USA! USA!

    11) “By the way, Amerikkkans-yes, this is ACTUAL FACT- pay MORE income taxes than Canadians.”

    Since Canadians pay their taxes in beaver pelts, that’s not technically true if you compare by weight.

    12) “Big Ugly Wilderness Area, West Virginia, USA”

    Another great thing about the USA: Truth In Advertising.

    13) “Ever heard of New York? Did you know that scummy city was named after York in England? Have you guys ever heard of New England, clearly named after England, of whom the UNITED STATES STILL TO THIS DAY STILL BOWS DOWN TO? Have you (a)sslicks ever heard of New Mexico, named after Mexico?”

    But in all these cases, we were smart enough to get the latest model.

    14) “From far and wide, O Canada,
    We stand on guard for thee.
    God keep our land glorious and free!
    O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.”

    I think you have a typo there. It should read:

    From far and wide, O Canada,
    [America stands] on guard for thee [while we sit around defacing Yankee web sites].
    [US Army] keep our land glorious and free!
    O Canada, [the Americans we love to hate] stand on guard for thee.

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  5. Amerikkka:

    That’s some quality rage. You should totally get a blog.

    However, a couple of points:

    1) My post praises Canada. So this isn’t exactly a Canada-sucks site. Try reading it…all the cool kids are reading these days.

    2) I even praised Canada again, just a few days ago.

    http://www.sfsmith.com/blog/archives/000265.html

    And, in reference to that issue…I assume you mean it positively that you call our Independence Day holiday “gay”.

    3) Despite the quality rage, you may need to reassess the relative IQ or at least education levels of Canada versus the US. I went to one of the WORST public school systems in the US, and I still somehow learned that there’s no such thing as “who’s” in the English language.

    4) My computer works just fine with JavaScript turned off. As a follow-up to Jason’s comment, did you know that Alexander Graham Bell also did his inventing here?

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  6. Nit-picking addendum: You can have a contraction of “who is”, but it’s relatively informal. (e.g. “Jane, who’s going to be at the party, is a totally hot babe.”) However, there is no such possessive.

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  7. This is the most retarded thing I have seen in my life…Get LIVES ppl…honestly…if you wrote more than a paragraph, plz die for every1 elses sake…

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  8. i like canada. i myself am a canadian. u don’t see canada goin to war. in WW2, we canadians fought the war and we won. thats right we won cuz we had heart. and after the war we won and we got a piece of land in memorial for us. after that, we were peace keepers! we said no to any other war after that. proof: when president bush asked us canadians to help him find saddam, we said no cuz it wasn’t out beef.

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  9. LOL! That interaction between Amerikkka and Jason was the funniest thing I’ve read in weeks! Kudos to both of you. By the way, I’m a proud Canadian (like Peter Jennings who, contrary to the erroneous US media reports stating he gave up his Canadian citizenship when he received his US citizenship a couple of years ago, actually retained his Canadian citizenship stating ” you can take the boy out of Canada but you can never take Canada out of the boy”….he said he would always consider himself a Canadian, first and foremost). There are idiots in the USA and there are idiots in Canada but when one considers that Canada has 33 million people whilst the US has nearly 300 million, it is the unfortunate truth that there will always be ten times as many idiots in the USA. Canada RULES (especially in this era of $66 oil as we have the world’s second largest oil reserves and we are your largest source of imported oil. Better be nice to us our you’ll be freezin’ in the dark!

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  10. “Better be nice to us our you’ll be freezin’ in the dark!”

    Um…you might want to read the parent post. Nations that refuse to sell Bush oil seem to have “accidents” that involve him “accidentally” relocating a US theater command’s headquarters to the country’s former capital for a bit.

    So until there’s a Democrat in office, you might want to just be polite and rake in the FILTHY LUCRE.

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  11. Wow I’m sorry…Did you say The United States imports more oil from Canadia than the Middle East? Hmmmm…Please shooturself…and I’ll shoot myself for writing more than a paragraph…

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  12. Well, Canada is the largest single country the US imports oil from.

    http://www.eere.energy.gov/vehiclesandfuels/facts/favorites/fcvt_fotw246.shtml

    On the other hand, Saudi and Iraqi oil used to account for more than Canada’s input when combined. Dunno what it is after we did them the favor of implementing rather forcible government reform.

    PS — If you combine all the Latino sources (Mexico and Venezuela), we get more oil from south of our borders than any other region.

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  13. New Orleaneans wouldnt go to Canada, too fuckn cold compared with the hot humid enviroment of the biouxs there…and as for the war against the USA…have u been watchin somethin on t.v called the IRAQ WAR COVERAGE?? they only show the american casualties most of the time…but for the 1st three days of the war…9,000 iraqis were killed…and no americans? plus we got sum nukes in Nunavut back from the COld war days…so canada should b a little cautious…but u canucks got ur heads so far up ur asses…u just cant admit defeat…

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  14. ok asshole where are the nukes in canada as an ex canadian soldier i would be very interested to know.9000 iraq good guys or bad guys killed or does it matter.you`re not known for your fighting abilities but your bullshit is first rate.

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  15. No,maybe not but Canadians went to Nawlins to save lives…….and did.Canadian urban search and rescue teams,got there before your own military.I`m gussing I know where your head is….

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  16. How fuckin` long long do I have to wait for one of you fuckin` hollywood heroes to tell me what the us is protecting Canada from????

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  17. Bolt Actions Speak Louder Than Words
    Canadian Soldiers Take Out Taliban!

    29 December 2003
    By Rob Krott *
    ——————————————————————————–

    From Soldier of Fortune
    Also read Cool under fire, snipers don’t miss on the same snipers.

    ——————————————————————————–

    The abilities of Canadian snipers are well known in the international sniping community. Four Canadian Army teams won top honors at the U.S. Army Sniper School’s first international sniping competition at Fort Benning, Georgia. Canadian Army snipers have seen limited deployment on recent peacekeeping operations in the Balkans, but in Afghanistan they got the chance to go “live.” Two teams of Canadian snipers from the 3rd Princess Patricia’s Canadian Light Infantry Battle Group deployed in support of U.S. infantrymen from two U.S. Army light infantry battalions (2nd Battalion, 3rd Brigade, 101st Airborne Division [Air Assault], and 1st Battalion, 2nd Brigade, 10th Mountain Division), during Operation Anaconda in March 2002. The snipers are part of the 3rd PPCLI battalion reconnaissance platoon, stationed in Edmonton, Alberta.

    Trained to engage targets out to at least 800 meters, Canada’s snipers — there are only a few dozen — learn their trade in the Sniper Cell of the Combat Training Center’s Infantry School at CFB Gagetown in New Brunswick.

    The Canadian Department of National Defense (DND) officially confirmed that a team of six Canadian snipers killed several heavily armed Taliban or al-Qaeda members in Afghanistan in the first weeks of March, “taking out” machine-gun nests and mortar positions at long range — the first confirmed enemy killed in combat by Canadian troops since the Korean War. In a press briefing at the onset of Operation Harpoon, a mopping-up mission to find and eliminate pockets of resistance remaining after Operation Anaconda, Vice-Admiral Greg Maddison, the Deputy Chief of Defense Staff, said Canadian snipers from the 3 PPCLI Battle Group killed enemy fighters during Operation Anaconda and they could kill more in Operation Harpoon. “These sniper teams suppressed enemy mortar and heavy machine-gun positions with deadly accuracy,” he noted.

    During Operation Anaconda, Canadian snipers killed enemy fighters while defending U.S. troops that were under fire. “As the American battalion was moving down the ridge and dealing with the Taliban and al-Qaeda fighters that they were encountering, the snipers were there to provide defensive capability. As they were moving forward, they would encounter various positions in which mortars were being fired at them and at the Americans and they were able to take out some of these positions and protect the Americans as they were continuing towards their final objective,” he added. “Their skills are credited with likely having saved many Allied lives.”

    He would not say how many enemy fighters the snipers killed or provide any other details of the incident, stating, “First of all, we don’t have the specific numbers from the folks on the ground. It’s a very difficult thing to ascertain. The snipers were moving forward with the American battalion. Once the Taliban had been neutralized, if you will, they carried on forward to the objective and we’re not in the business of actually counting how many folks they may or may not have indeed killed. So I can’t tell you a specific number of how many were.”

    The Canadian Department of National Defense can’t (or won’t for reasons of political correctness) be specific or give numbers, but Soldier Of Fortune can.

    “Without Warning, Sans Remorse”
    The need for snipers became apparent to the Canadian Defence Department during the summer of 1990 when snipers from the then-Royal Canadian School of Infantry (RCSI), CFB Gagetown, NB were attached to 5e Groupe-Brigade Mecanise du Canada from BFC Valcartier, Quebec during Operation Salon for the Mohawk Indian uprising in Oka, Quebec.

    In 1992, Canadian Army sniping underwent “rejuvenation” at the School of Infantry. The Infantry School conducts the master sniper course and also oversees the three Area Training Centers governing the basic sniper courses. The master snipers are capable of instructing basic snipers and facilitate their continual training, magnifying their impact many times over. The 3PPCLI snipers train at their Area Training Center’s Basic Course at the Land Force Western Area Training Center, Wainwright, Alberta. The official motto of the snipers is “Without Warning, Sans Remorse.”

    For ease of administration and training, snipers are organized as a section of the reconnaissance platoon. The section consists of a sergeant section commander, two master corporals, one of which is the second-in-command, and four corporal/private snipers. The section is organized into three detachments of two snipers each, and the section driver is also a spare sniper. When deployed, each team or detachment is organized as a sniper and an observer. Team members assist each other during long periods of observation and with range estimations, adjustments of rounds and security.

    The Section Commander is designated as the unit master sniper, and is responsible for advising the Commanding Officer, usually through the reconnaissance platoon commander, on all matters related to sniping including counter-sniping. He is also responsible for sniper training and testing. According to WO Rick Hills, OIC of the Master Sniper Cell at CFB Gagetown, “The employment of snipers will vary by the scale and type of conflict and the selection of weapons and equipment will also remain flexible and task-dependent. Canadian snipers will always operate, as a minimum, in pairs as a two-man detachment.”

    Serious Body Counts
    Canuck snipers supposedly had the highest number of confirmed kills in the Shah-i-Kot Valley fight. A source in Kandahar working with the Canadian sniper teams estimates “well over 20 confirmed kills at long ranges.” There is an unconfirmed, but widely circulated, report of a 2,400-meter kill (chest-shot) against the driver of an enemy resupply truck. If validated, it will be a new record for the longest shot made by a military sniper in combat (currently 2,500 yards or about 2,250 meters, held by GySgt Carlos Hathcock, USMC, near Duc Pho, South Vietnam, January 1967, with a Browning .50 HMG mounting an 8-power Unertl telescopic sight).

    Two detachments of Canadian snipers entered the battle alongside U.S. units. One group of three went in with a company from the 101st Airborne’s 3rd Brigade “Rakkasans.” When the American grunts became pinned down, the three Canadians and three accompanying U.S. Army Special Forces shooters armed with M24 Remingtons went to work. Moving to a vantage point, they began picking-off al-Qaeda fighters engaging the 101st infantrymen. For more than an hour they fought it out with heavily dug-in al-Qaeda fighters. According to Master Corporal (MCPL) “Alex,” a 30-year old infantryman from Ottawa and Halifax, “As soon as we got rid of one guy, another would come up, and another one.”

    With the pressure off them, the company of 101st infantrymen quickly moved into their assigned blocking positions. The Canuck snipers were in their element. They continued their long-range shooting with their McMillan Brothers .50-cal. Tactical Anti-Materiel Sniper Rifle System. This is the new bolt-action, Long-Range Sniper Weapon (LRSW) that was only introduced to Canadian Infantry Battalions in April 2000. The LRSW is modified for Canadian Army use with a moveable cheek piece and shortened bipods, and is fitted with a 16x Leupold optical sight. It has a five-round magazine, weighs 12 kg./26.4 lbs., and is 145cm/58 in. in length. The Canadians push AMAX Match .50-caliber ammunition through it.

    The spotter (secondary) or team commander, uses a C3A1 7.62mm Sniper Rifle — a Parker-Hale M82 modified to Canadian specs with a six-round detachable magazine, extended bolt handle, strengthened receiver, new trigger safety and a new match-type barrel. The C3A1 is fitted with a Unertl 10x optic (same as USMC-issue), and its usual fodder is Norma Match 7.62mm ammunition loaded with the Sierra Match King 168-gr. HPBT(M) bullet. The LRSW is fitted with Gen III and the C3 Gen II Simrad image-intensification devices for low-light work. For back up they both have the Canadian-made Diemaco C-8 5.56mm Carbine (analogous to the U.S. M4) and 9mm Inglis GP (M1935) Hi-Power pistol using standard service ammo. The teams also have 20-power compact spotting scopes, a Leica Vector binocular with built-in rangefinder, compass and inclinometer functions and a GPS uplink, in addition to normal field gear, camouflage, and ghillie suits: The Canadians put it all to use.

    The LRSW, however, is the primary weapon for the sniper team. When employing the LRSW, the usual two-man team of sniper and spotter will normally be increased to three and will then be designated as a sniper team. The team will consist of the No. 1, (primary sniper) employing the LRSW, the No. 2, (team commander) employing the C3A1, and the No. 3, (team security) employing the Canadian-made Diemaco C7 5.56mm M16A2 type rifle. With the weapon systems complementing each other, this allows for a maximum of flexibility of tasks within the team.

    Into The Fray
    The American infantrymen, flown in by CH-47 Chinook helicopter and forced to hump over bare ground from their two mountain LZs, were taking heavy fire from the enemy. They were easy targets for well-prepared heavy machine-gun and automatic-weapons positions on the 10,000-foot ridge known as the Whale’s Back on the West side of the valley, and the commanding 10,000- to 12,000-feet heights of the Shah-i-Kot mountain ridge on the East side, and even the village, Sherkankel, in the valley. The American grunts came under immediate and intense enemy fire from these prepared defensive positions sited above and all around them. American infantrymen in the fight said the enemy fire consisted of everything from small arms to mortars and heavy machine guns, firing with interlocking arcs from both the top of the Shah-i-Kot mountain range, and across the valley from the Whale. Many were pinned down by the heavy fire and needed help taking out the enemy machine guns and mortars that were inflicting casualties. The Canadian snipers were on the job.

    A recent Canadian newspaper article by Canadian Press photojournalist Stephen Thorne interviewed some of the snipers. MCPL Alex recalled, “The six of us suppressed fire and neutralized the enemy. They were either dead or they ran away.” Kitted-out in British desert DPM uniforms (the Canucks haven’t issued desert brown uniforms yet) they were so well camouflaged they were nearly shot up by Apache attack helicopters. They heard the Apache firing and looked behind them to see great spouts of dirt in two rows. The rounds stopped only a meter from their position. MCPL Alex said, “I don’t know how the .50 didn’t get hit. We laughed after that. You got to.”

    The team had cached their 110-pound rucks. Under fire, they needed additional optics and, a testament to the amount of shooting they were doing, ran low on ammunition (the other Canadian team eventually resorted to using U.S. Army .50-caliber ammunition as they’d depleted their supply of AMAX Match ammo). Corporal “Ed,” 25, of Manuels, Newfoundland, volunteered to run down into the valley and up the opposite ridge 100 meters away to get more ammo and equipment. With the air thin at 11,500 feet CPL Ed was ready to pass out after his sprint back and forth through enemy fire, but still managed to return fire with his M203 40mm grenade launcher. His rounds must have found their target, some al-Qaeda firing from a nearby streambed.

    “We don’t know what happened. All we know is their firing stopped,” said MCPL Alex. The Canadian snipers also came under heavy mortar fire. MCPL “Warren” said, “They were bracketing us. We’d move and they’d adjust fire. Eventually they either ran out of rounds or they just gave up. I don’t know. You could hear the fins rotating as they came in. It’s a sound I’ll never forget.”

    There are undoubtedly some al-Qaeda who will never forget the sound of a Canadian sniping rifle echoing over the Shah-i-Kot valley, as well.

    Interview With A Sniper
    MCPL Alex, the “shooter” on his three-man team, is back at his unit’s home base in Edmonton, Alberta. He recently talked for three hours with Soldier Of Fortune about his experiences in Afghanistan. For their personal security, SOF has used the nom de guerre as given to the Canadian media for the Canadian snipers.

    Alex, a 10-year veteran, has been a sniper for two years. He went to Croatia in 1993, joined the Canadian Airborne Regiment in 1994, then returned to the Balkans for duty in Bosnia in 1997 and 2000. Trained at the Wainwright sniper course, he was a sniper in Bosnia in 2000. During that tour he and other Canadian snipers completed a British Army sniper course as well.

    Alex and the five other 3 PPCLI snipers deployed to Afghanistan with their unit. After initial duty at Kandahar on observation posts and some work with Northern Alliance troops, both of the three-man 3 PPCLI sniper teams were attached to the 3rd Brigade (Rakkasans), 101st Airborne Division. Alex and his team were with C Co, 2d Bn, 3rd Bde of the 101st (he proudly showed me his Rakkasans challenge coin). Alex was the “shooter,” or No. 1, armed with a McMillan Brothers .50 caliber. Three U.S. Special Forces shooters, known only by their first names, joined them for Operation Anaconda. The solitary shooter armed with a Remington 700 (M24) and backed up by two team members armed with M4 carbines, he also laid down effective fire on long-range targets.

    As soon as the Canadians were attached to the 101st they received a bit of culture shock seeing the wealth of gear and support the U.S. Army receives, in contrast to Canadian Army. They also experienced the U.S. infantryman’s unique Hooah attitude and esprit. From Bagram Airfield they staged with the Rakkasans for Operation Anaconda.

    On 2 March they deployed at first light via CH-47 Chinook. Unlike some other units, they took no ground-fire on the way in. However, 15 minutes after landing on the cold LZ they were in contact, receiving small-arms fire from enemy forces. They moved to a position looking toward the Whale, east of the village of Sherkankel. Alex told SOF, “I said to Joe, one of the SF snipers, ‘shouldn’t we put a gun up here?’ He told us ‘Let these guys, they’re regular infantry, just let them do their thing, if the shit hits the fan, we’ll sort it out.’ Next thing you know it happened, and we started moving to high ground. We were carrying C-8s, Brownings — the Americans had M4s — and I had the .50 on my back in a drag bag. My spotter had a C-7 with M203 grenade launcher and the radio.” Alex and his team set up a firing position and began supporting C Company.

    “We helped them by taking out certain positions so they could carry on with the primary task. Our engagement distances that day were from 777 meters to 1,500 meters.” The U.S. and Canadian teams’ spotters engaged al-Qaeda much closer than that, though. “We took fire from the rear, maybe 10 meters away from us; we looked at each other like ‘What the hell is that!’ and one of the spotters turned around and covered us.” Alex’s team also came under fire from an RPG from the rear. This definitely got their attention. Spotters (both Canadian and American) used their M203 40mm grenade launchers (the Canadian spotters carried 5.56mm C-7A1s with Elcan low-mount optical sights and M203 grenade launchers) to suppress enemy fire from a nearby wood-line. “We had debated taking the M203 with us. We were taking fire from a treeline (to our front) and we couldn’t see where he was and I wasn’t going to waste a shot there. So he (the Canadian team’s No.3) came up and just started pumping-out rounds along with one of the SF guys with a grenade launcher. So I used it to mask the sound of my firing.”

    ——————————————————————————–

    *Chief Foreign Correspondent Rob Krott is a former infantry officer,

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  18. 1914,NO USA,1939 NO USA THKS FOR THE HELP ASSHOLES.CANADA DECLARES WAR ON JAPAN 2 WEEKS BEFORE THE US,THKS FOR COMING ABOARD SO FAST……..ASSHOLES

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  19. Well now u were just answering the call from the british…im sure the french were real happy fighting for the british! and there was no draft or in canuck language, conscription…ex canadian soldier= weekend warrior who went AWOL…america not known for fighting abilities…wow…i hate fucking canucks, they don’t even have their info straight, so i guess they are mostly fags, and they even support gay marriage…

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  20. canucks didnt make it to new orleans first, it was fucking walmart…largest disptribution system NE WHERE…USA!! USA!! fuck canada … all they got is the largest country with the least amount of people…and the world ignorance award goes toooo CANADA…and to accept this prize, Charles Charest!!!

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  21. now for the protectin canada question, do u think that hitting the neighbor of the most powerful country in the world would be a wise choice? i think not, its like hitting the bullies sister, there’s hell to pay

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  22. Well,well it`s hillbilly history time.The above cunt couldn`t even think of a name.How`s BillBob? I like that name.
    Ok Billbob,does it really matter who called? Canada answered as a nation while the us was making money.Canada`s contribution although small compared to the major powers standards, was huge nationally, by population probably the largest voluntary effort of any democracy,67% of your “army” was drafted in ww2,that was the 1939-1945 one.
    You`re stuck on the gay thing,wonder why that is! live and let live,it`s a human rights thing,something the us has always been a little shaky on and since y`all are a gay free country it`s just another issue you don`t have to address.I bet you would rather have another sister in a whore house than admit the usa has gays.
    Now here`s a news flash! Walmart has an urban search and resue team! and silly ole me thinking they just sold patty stackers and indoor/outdoor carpet.We seem to have become the worlds largest country by area,does national geographic know this Billybob or are you keeping it a secret?
    Now then ole Billybob….who in the fuck is the usa protecting Canada from???? Ah yes! the bully.Did you know you said that Billybob?
    Billybob,if your parents got divorced would they still be brother and sister?

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  23. billy fucking bob will you please get back here,i want to talk about the walmart urban search and rescue team,that is so cool.does walmart have soldiers as well?

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  24. Ok Billybob,you probably rushed right on out and joined the `murkin or walmart army.Any other stupid `murkins around?I know all the smart ones are in Canada.There`s a thought,we can start walsmart.

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  25. Hey what up board. This is all new for me. I gotta get comfortable..Soooo why is Billybob so wanted and what has he done? Emm please inform need to know the info.

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  26. You know Canuck I just didn’t get how you felt about billbob do you think you could express yourself anymore? I mean please don’t hold back (sarcasm ends)

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  27. to: buy `murkin.
    You can get fucked too!you trailer living,pickup driving,grits eating,jerry springer watching,sister fucking,beer like substance drinking,gun toting,wife/sister beating,grandmother abusing,rat faced,toothless redneck.

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  28. In Response to Canuck the dumb Fuck

    Listen Canuck you can go fuck yourself..you poutine eatin, back bacon lovin, beer drinkin, beaver humpin, igloo livin, monopoly money spendin, american wanna be.

    to: buy `murkin.
    You can get fucked too!you trailer living,pickup driving,grits eating,jerry springer watching,sister fucking,beer like substance drinking,gun toting,wife/sister beating,grandmother abusing,rat faced,toothless redneck.

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  29. Wow. Good to know that there’s such a full life in Canada that you have better things to do than comment on a 14-month-old blog post and solidly refute any positive stereotypes about your tolerance, nonviolance, erudition, or sophistication.

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  30. It’s ok Canuck we realize your not coordinated enough to type and drink a beer at the same time..we have made allowences for you. Now be a good boy and clean up your mess.

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