Ouch. Ouch Ouch Ouch.

So my illustrious friend and coworker Oscar is getting married on Saturday, so last night I went to my first-ever bachelor party. For some reason, every wedding I’ve been associated with has been through the female, and, well, I haven’t been invited to any bachelorette parties. And that’s just OK.

Even though it was pretty tame by bachelor party standards (yes, Staci, it was entirely inoffensive–PG 13 for occasional strong language and drug references), I do have the hurt on this morning. I prepped myself well with plenty of water but failed to keep up the non-alcohol drinking during the event.

I did decided that discretion was the better part of valor, and cowardice the better part of discretion, and valiantly chickened out of the (rather large) shots after two rounds, continuing on with my beloved Boddington’s.

After my share of the nearly-$600-bill, I called it a night. The metro was still running and it seemed a good time to acknowledge that I’m not 22 anymore.

I do vaguely remember arguing with some overweight chick in a blue dress that, despite whatever rhetoric she may have about their contribution to society, going to law school made her a future lawyer, which made her evil. Hint: if you can’t out-argue an inebriated layperson, as I was somewhat pejoratively described, that you are not in fact evil…well, you may not be the best at being evil.

I do recall vaguely saying goodbye to Oscar and telling the woman, who was standing next to him, “Good luck with the evil!” on my way out.

Yep. Kinda drunk.

Kinda hurts this morning. Probably the God of Lawyers’s wrath for picking on the weaker members of the herd. But they were slow and stupid, which is why we have wolves and other large predators. It’s all part of the Circle of Pain.

A bit beautiful, really.

And, like most beauty, it leaves a pounding headache the next morning.

This post dedicated to Ginger, who likes this sort of thing much better than my boring political or Web development rants.

6 thoughts on “Ouch. Ouch Ouch Ouch.

  1. What does it say about me that I get the post about drunkenness dedicated to me?

    My dad told me yesterday that if someone read my blog and didn’t know me, they’d think I was drunk all the time. Perhaps I need an adjustment of priorities…

    I must comment on the $600 bill, though. I talked to a girl recently and the open bar bill for her entire wedding dance was only $800. You guys are soaks.

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  2. I’m catching up to the online world after staying offline while in Portugal and came across this…

    I had no idea that our bar tab came to that much ($600?!!), but then again after the 5 shots and bear, i didn’t really care. That has to include dinner for us too though and we did have 8 people there iirc.

    I remember you saying goodbye and I do vaguely remember you saying something about lawyers and being evil but I didn’t know anyone hanging out with us had studied law. We ended up at the Clarendon Ballroom dancing and laughing at pete while he made out with one of his younger brother’s female friends.

    Like

  3. I’m catching up to the online world after staying offline while in Portugal and came across this…

    I had no idea that our bar tab came to that much ($600?!!), but then again after the 5 shots and bear, i didn’t really care. That has to include dinner for us too though and we did have 8 people there iirc.

    I remember you saying goodbye and I do vaguely remember you saying something about lawyers and being evil but I didn’t know anyone hanging out with us had studied law. We ended up at the Clarendon Ballroom dancing and laughing at pete while he made out with one of his younger brother’s female friends.

    Like

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