Laptop Prophylaxis

Um, dude–I have bad news. If you’re using your laptop in your lap enough to reduce your fertility, you probably don’t have much of an opportunity to, um, fertilize anybody.

Plus it’s the usual one-study two-step that the press likes, this one at least backed up by lab measurements. However, it measures fertility immediate laptop use, and there’s no real indication of long-term damage, and there was no measurement of long-term fertility in actual real-life heavy laptop use when compared to a control group.

But really–laptops. Further proof we have nothing real to worry about, like avian flu jumping the species barrier…whoops.

Careful Who You Outsource

Looks like the head of the Bank of Ireland got hoist by his own petard. After getting his post, he decided that in-house IT support was too expensive and did onshore outsourcing, which usually means firing everybody and letting a contracting company come in and rehire some of them at lower salaries with fewer benefits, all while charging a premium to manage them all. Supposedly there’s a cost savings in there, but all it suggests to me is that it reveals the inefficiency of the in-house HR management if simply replacing them saves enough to justify the profitability of a whole new management structure.

This, predictably, pissed off the employees, and being European and thus accustomed to such things, had some sort of labor action to protest the move.

Well, it turns out that as the outsourced IT people were looking at the executive’s machine, they found porn among the cached files on his hard drive. They informed their contacts at the Bank, and, unlike an American company, the CEO was forced to resign over the scandal. Here, only a woman who could sue for sexual harassment could bring up such an issue and have a CEO fired, and that would have to be through the courts. But nonetheless, it can get ugly.

So just make sure you’ve, um, covered all your bases, so to speak, when you decide to outsource the guy who reads your e-mail. I, for one, make sure I’m on good terms with my sysadmin wherever I go. A powerful friend, and a deadly foe.

Prosititution on the Cutting Edge of Science

Apparently this prostitute reads New Scientist, volunteers in her community, and books by e-mail. Since, as the New Scientist reported, people lie more often by phone than e-mail, she gets fewer cancellations and people who pay for missed visits.

Mass hysteria! Dogs and cats living together! Prostitutes volunteering and having a missed appointment charge policy!

Thanks to Marginal Revolution for keeping on top of this vitally important social issue.

We Are the Sandy Smith

From: 	 <redacted>
Subject: 	All those Sandy Smiths out there
Date: 	March 10, 2004 7:24:51 PM EST
To: 	  <a bunch of email addresses>, and 11 more...
Reply-To: 	  <redacted>

All,

I have, on a whim, don't ask me why, searched google for "Sandy Smith" (thats
me - and you too).  Thought it would be kind of interesting and fun to send y'all
an email with each other's info.  The Sandy Smith club...

Here are most of the Sandy Smith web pages I thought would be appropriate
and had the time to look through.  You'll probably have to cut and paste these
into your browser.

Enjoy.

Sandy Smith

http://www.ci.ventura.ca.us/cityhall/council/biosmith.shtm
http://dolphin.upenn.edu/~smiths/
http://www.sfsmith.com/
http://www.sandysmith.com/
http://www.sdl.sri.com/people/smith/
http://www.biome.utoronto.ca/profile/ssmith.htm
http://www.sksmith.com/sandy.html
http://www.kleimer.com/team/sandySmith.asp
http://www.stklaw.com/bios/ssmith.html
http://www.enernex.com/staff/sandy/
http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/7849/
http://microbes.otago.ac.nz/dept/staff/profile-smiths.html
http://www.coe.uga.edu/research/fac_staff/sandy_smith.html
http://cropandsoil.oregonstate.edu/people/faculty.php?ID=149
http://www.tvtome.com/tvtome/servlet/PersonDetail/personid-193140
http://www.sandysmithauctionco.com/home.htm
http://garfield.st-agnes.org/~ssmith/
http://www.the-nose.com/artists/smithsandy/smithsandygift.html
http://www.glasgowbarren.com/commun/edu/glas_sch/elem/hve/teacher's%20pagenew/ssmith.htm
http://www.law.howard.edu/lawinfo/huslstaff/sreateoms/sandysmithjune2k1eom.htm
http://www.kurilla.com/brokers.cfm?AgentID=310&Expand=True
http://www.sandysmithrealty.co.nz/about_ssrl.htm
http://www.sandysmithseminars.com/
http://www.johnston-tackle.com/pr02.htm
http://www.williamsfaireyband.co.uk/theband/ssmith.html
http://www.hockeydb.com/ihdb/stats/pdisplay.php3?pid=5055

No, it’s not from me, and yes, I now feel odd not being in Real Estate…but I feel less odd being male.

Update: Sandy Smith has written in to say that his U. Penn Website is no more and he can be reached here: http://mysite.verizon.net/sandy.f.smith