Household tips? From me???

How can I respond to this other than through fake haiku?

  1. If fish or garlic
    is the problem, behold the
    power of lemon.
  2. Everything has
    a place, and everything
    in its place. Yeah, riiiight.
  3. Use garlic. A lot.
    No, really, your cooking will
    be ten times better.
  4. Cockatiels are the
    enemy of cleanliness.
    Spritzing them won’t help.
  5. Immigrants need work,
    and we are lazy fatsos.
    Nice how that works out.

It should be obvious that Holly has never seen the inside of my apartment. Er, I tag, um, Jason, Ginger, Oscar, who should be thinking about this with the oncoming porch monkey (we’re taking it back!), and Todd, who actually is really clean.

2 thoughts on “Household tips? From me???

  1. Number 5 is my favorite. 🙂

    I also gave tips on my blog, but I forgot to tag anyone. Maybe I’ll go back in and tag my parents or something.


  2. what tips should I give?

    1) throw things away fearlessly. re-evaluate what you need, and what you want to keep just because. everything else goes bye bye.

    2) put a lot of cool things on the walls, and on shelves. people are like crows and get distracted by shiny things.

    3) hang out with people messier than you, you come out looking like Mr. Clean, (except for the bald thing)


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