Surely this will catapult me into the ranks of big time bloggers like that guy from flyover country, the gay Republican, or some political hack. My more commented-upon Canadian-themed post got quite a lot of hate comments from Canadians who failed to read the substance of the post (or, as I judge from the quality of the spelling and punctuation, may simply have been unable to read it). It then also drew quite a lot of counter-hate hate comments from Americans. Ever one to enjoy watching Canadians act in opposition to their self image, I just sat back and watched.
But when a couple of 14-year-olds (or their mental equivalents) began bashing one another the thing got tiresome. As long as they were bashing one another based on their country of residence, I didn’t much care. Then the (self-identified) American began simply just posting potty mouth words without a lot of point to them. Now I’m quite a fan of potty mouth words (fuck, shit, Jerry Seinfeld, crap, children, dickweed, and Canada, just to name a few)–I just require that they be in the service of something. So I just deleted those posts but left up the juvenile name-calling. That caused outrage, so I banned the commenter’s IP address. He came back and resumed the name-calling, and all was well.
Then the (again, self-described) Canuck failed to recognize that a spammer bent on selling him magic beans for his beanie-weenie had simply used a bot to post some innocuous bit of nonsense, and replied to it. I of course deleted the spam, causing much anguish on the Canuck’s part. I replied that as this is my private propertah, all will respect my authoritah, and I’ll delete whatever the fuck I want for whatever reason I want, or no reason at all. Generally I’m pretty liberal about what I’ll let pass, but sometimes I’m just feelin’ the need for delete.
This caused the American to launch into a paroxysm of abuse. So, of course I deleted it, since it had nothing to do with hating (or not hating) Canada. He returned, full of accusations of treason, etc., etc., and I deleted those. Eventually I got tired of the thing and just turned the comments off that post, since most of them even before the juveniles got involved had been fairly stupid anyway. Canadians seem to have a lot of time on their hands and get a wee bit defensive about being a real country (funny how real countries never feel the need to get defensive about their existence). This caused quite a pause, since neither of them seemed to know that a “blog” has “posts” of which their favorite was simply one among many.
So today, while I spent the day out in the warm sun enjoying nature’s plenitude, the American troll was in his dank cave manually spamming as many posts as he could (geez, write a bot like every other script kiddie). I returned to find them, and promptly deleted them. The Canadian troll managed to bang out a couple of insults between bouts of shivering, but as autocratic and random as I am, I elected to let them stay. I’m just kooky that way.
No doubt my American hater will come back with all sorts of things as soon as the public library opens again and he manages to rediscover how to work the automatic door. They’ll probably be deleted and that IP address banned. Since I have very low readership, I don’t mind banning most of SBC’s IP space. They’re pretty lame, anyway.
But I’m so glad I have a hater. Clearly, I’m coming up in the world.
Sandy Smith 
Sandy, what’s the matter had to call in the Calvary? Well bring it on Bitches.
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pick me ginger,oops saw your picture.who is the girl with the big rack? i`ll pick her.
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hey dave-o-rama,sounds like y`all be a member of the pocket protector crowd.I don`t suppose you`re bonking ginger are ya.looks like she could use a little trim,unless you`re doing goats in which case i wouldn`t blame ya for not sniffing around that one.goats would probably appeal to me more as well.
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Subject: New Survey (sorry about this – but science is science)
Ginger:
A recent survey was conducted as to why men like (blow)
jobs,
10% like the feeling
12% like the dominance
and 78% just like the silence.
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Uhoh, Ginger, I think we hurt the trolls’ feelings. We’re sorry, we didn’t mean to make y’all sad.
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I think Ginger is hurting!
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Dave you silly warped computer weenie you can’t hurt my feelings. Don’t worry though I will go easy on you since I know life for you as a nerd is challenging enough. I mean if it wasn’t for movies like Revenge of the Nerds you would get no recognition at all. Now go away and play with your protractor and pocket protector.
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Come on Dave tell us the truth..you were shoved in a lot of lockers at school weren’t ya?
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Come on Sandy are Dave and Ginger all you got to insult us with? It’s not working go back and get some more nerds.
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mmmmmmmmmmm nerds,send more nerds.
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Chant begins Nerds…Nerds..Nerds…Nerds
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I love you.Ginger.
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I love you Sandy and Dave
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Cum Sandy and Dave let us use duct tape, watermelon and a hook together emmm???????????
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I`m in if Ginger promises to go on vacation,or see a surgeon.
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Ginger’s not invited
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Mmmm How about it Sandy think you and Dave could keep up with me?
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Cum on nerds really turn me on you i’ve seen the movies you guys are well hung. What do you say? Double my pleasure double your fun..*wink*wink *nudge *nudge
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You are both very naughty boys..I think I will have to spank you both first
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I’ll give you both an education you will never forget
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Maybe I was too hard on Ginger,mother nature and god do sometimes conspire but man can intervene.You hang in there baby i`m on your side.
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Cum on Sandy talk to me baby
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Hey buy american,
;do you think if a girl named Ginger or Candy etc.should be made change their names if they turn out plain? You know,to Shirley or Doris.What are your thoughts on that being that as a woman?
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that didn`t turn out right,ok i`m limiting my beer drinking to breakfast only.Anyway I think you know what I mean.
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Let me get this straight and yes put the beer down. Are you asking me if Ginger should change her name because she is plain and doesn’t look like a Ginger?
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well her face looks somebody sat on it before it hardened and Ginger sort of conjurers a healthy and sexy piece of gear.So do you think it`s fair for her to have that name when a comely wench could be using it and she could have a name such as Shirley.A thought on that if you will.
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Hmm..yes I see your point now. Yes Ginger is completely wrong it must be her chosen internet name. I think Shirley would be a fine name yes. Good call
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Now Turtle looking at Sandy don’t you feel his name is not right for him as well? Any suggestions to give old Sandy pants?
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Sandy has a kinky side so make sure you choose a name that will capture his darker side
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Thank you.
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Sandy likes to use watermelon but im not sure what for must say im very intrigued
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Tough one indeed,looks like Bruce to me.
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Bruce is good or how about Serge like an electrical serge. Since that oozes electrical pulses through the body and with him being kinky I bet he likes electrodes.
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better electrodes than…..drum roll…..GINGER!!!
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Don’t forget Dave he is probably kinky too..all those nerds are
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YEAH YOU`RE CORRECT,WHICH ONE WAS HE? THE HAMPSTER FACED ONE?
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Sorry about the caps……dropped my beer and forgot they were on and by the time I noticed,I said fuck it.
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Apology accepted. Are you referring to Sandy or Dave?
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Well I`m a little wasted right now ( hard day seal clubbing )and the beer is really kickin` in so those nerds all are looking alike.you got any beer over there in that united states place? I need some more.
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We got plenty of beer even your kind Canuck. But I guess you will have to run out and get some your a bit too far away to send any too
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Damn I HATE BEING HALF drUNk
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Well look at it this way. You only have half a brain so since your half drunk..you are really fucking intoxicated.
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i`ll be sober in the morning,you?
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Not sure yet im still thinkin i mean drinkin
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Sandy…i’m back..did you miss me?
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Do tell Dave that I would love to hear from him. He never calls..he never writes..
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It seems I have missed a lot. Hello Turtle, BA.
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