900ft Jesus Says Don’t Raise Money, Just Die Already

Jerry Falwell has kicked it. A shadow has been lightened across Lynchburg, VA, an otherwise lovely town in the foothills of Virginia’s Blue Ridge mountains. But before everybody starts looking for the good in him, it’s worth remembering someone else who previously god threatened to call home, and what became of it.

Roberts said God had told him,

I want you to use the ORU medical school to put My medical presence in the earth. I want you to get this going in one year or I will call you home. It will cost $8 million and I want you to believe you can raise it.

The City of Faith medical clinic was closed later that year. In early 1988, all scholarships to the medical school were cancelled and students were required to repay large sums if they transferred to other schools. In 1989, the medical school was closed altogether.

Edit:…for clarity, I’m referring to Oral Roberts. Here’s the bad stuff Falwell has done to make him deserving of the nonexistent fires of hell: averred that the US deserved 9/11 because we’re sinners, inherited the PTL and looted it, declaimed Tinky Winky as an agent for the homosexual agenda, claimed AIDS was “god’s wrath” on homosexuals, and attempted to repress critics through the courts.

Fallwell had better hope I’m right about hell or the lack thereof.

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3 Responses to 900ft Jesus Says Don’t Raise Money, Just Die Already

  1. lunchstealer says:

    Wait, wasn’t that Oral Roberts who had the run-in with MC 900ft Jesus?

  2. Sandy Smith says:

    Yeah, I noticed that and fixed it to be clearer.

  3. Ginger says:

    Maybe he’ll come back as a gay Muslim in Saudi Arabia. Then he’ll see what intolerance feels like.

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