Toyota (Linux) Sucks, Ford (Microsoft) is Great!

Toyota (Linux) completely sucks. My company wanted to haul lumber across dirt roads (build an e-commerce app), but we forgot to budget for a new car and we don’t know anything about driving. So we hired a consultant to find somebody’s car to borrow. He got us a Toyota Corolla his dad got working out of a junk yard (PHP Web application coded by a sixteen-year-old who works for N’Sync CDs).

Now, it couldn’t hold much lumber (had a software-programmed limit to the number of items a customer could order) and we jerked the wheel back and forth like in the movies (CEO’s cousin’s son runs the servers) and, what do you know, it crashed into a tree (it crashed the server).

So the next year, we planned carefully (planned carefully), learned how to drive (figured out what this “Web” thing is), and hired a trucking company (competent consultants) to lease several Ford F-350s (Expensive Windows servers with big license fees on some fairly hefty hardware managed by professional sysadmins) for us and haul the lumber. Suprisingly, everything went smoothly and we only paid 3000% more (everything went smoothly after they payed some gargantuan amount more)!

You can read why Ford (Microsoft) thinks Toyota (Linux) sucks and how we’re proof in this eWeek article.

Plus, you can read about my brother’s company that bought a Toyota truck and then hired monkeys to drive it who had a custom rig that would only tow one brand of trailer (Linux solution maintained by guys who didn’t know what they were doing and only knew how to hook their app up to Oracle)! More proof that Toyota (Lunix) is teh suck! Ford (Take me, Bill Gates, I want your love child!) makes the best cars (operating systems) EVAR!

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8 Responses to Toyota (Linux) Sucks, Ford (Microsoft) is Great!

  1. Ginger says:

    You like to compare computer stuff to real life stuff, like trucks and house-building, I’ve noticed.

  2. Sandy Smith says:

    It helps to get the point across to those who assume the rules don’t apply because something is “technical” or has to do with the “Intarweb”.

  3. KnivesOut says:

    I think you have it a little backwards. Apple would be Toyota, Linux would be GM, and Microsoft would still be Ford. But that doesn’t work for your story because I’ve never had a problem with GM, I’ll never buy a Toyota, and I don’t like Ford but it’s the number one seller.

  4. AJ says:

    hey that’s why toyota(linux) is rising…. by the way, who is worlds 2nd largest auto maker.

    and ford (sorry i wouldn’t compare it with microsoft)….is gonna go further down.. unless they move from usa.. kidding

  5. H Dubree says:

    I’ve owned a GM, Ford, Dodge, Chevy….. They ALL sucked! Each one had problems that would take entirely too long to go into here.

    Our current vehicle is a Toyota, and in my opinion, there is no comparison with other vehicles. Toyota reigns supreme. We’ve had it for nearly 3 years, and aside from oil changes and tires, we have yet to put a dime into it.

    We will never buy any other make of vehicle. I pity those of you who feel differently. Toyotas sales are rising for a reason, and that reason is their unsurpassable quality.

    The reason all of those other vehicle companys were doing the “Employee Discount” deals was because their sales were plummeting! They acted in desperation to bring them back up. Toyota on the other hand was one of the few who did not follow GM’s lead. They didn;t have to. Their sales are great. And for reason, which you all already know by now.

    Call me FOS, stupid, whatever….. But millions of other car buyers will feel the same way. Never in my years of owning vehicles have I had people approach me on how much they love theirs, unless it was a Toyota.

  6. H Dubree says:

    Oh, and I can’t believe someone (Sandy in 1st post) would compare the driving ability and lumber hauling ability of an old junk yard Corolla vs a New Ford F-350. THATS INSANE! Corollas don’t haul lumber! They are made to haul kids! And of course when you pull anything out of a junk yard, it’s going to have problems. It was there for a reason…. DUH!!!

    I think that post by Sandy was the dumbest post and comparison I have yet to enounter on the web.

  7. Sandy Smith says:

    Oh, I think if you read the eWeek article, you’ll find an even dumber comparison.

  8. Ben says:

    Drove a 2004 corolla three times. That’s the reason why I don’t buy Toyotas.

    But I do like windows. Don’t get me wrong.

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